Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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