I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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