What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize