Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Send help, water and tortillas.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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