Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
