2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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