There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
