Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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