That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
