it was like his penis was on wheels.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
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Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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