Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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