Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Less talking, more tequila
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
