idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
