positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
