Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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