STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Everything about him screamed your future.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
