My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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