Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
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When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
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Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize