WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
