Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
