I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
