There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
