batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
