You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
