i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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