Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
