I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
