I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
