on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
