You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
