Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Its about making memories worth repressing
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
