Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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