Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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