you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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