I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
