Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
