Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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