Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
