I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
