hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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