Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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