It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
