He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize