what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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