Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
