I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.