is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.