i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts