but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night