Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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