I'm going to jail i love you
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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