Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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