need another drink. this is the easiest way
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
