i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
