He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
