I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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