Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He felt like a one man threesome
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
