so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
