Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm sobbing to NWA
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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