I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
