soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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