I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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