Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
