If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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