i need an iv and a liver transplant
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
